Le Fabuleux Mémo de Marjolaine Robichaud

Testimony that I gave in 2014 concerning my agoraphobia (which I cured!) Moments in front of the microphone that made me act like Arthur Fleck, except that for me it was not the laughter coming from his illness, but a panic attack behind the microphone ... --- 2014- At the end of last April, I was at Café Bloom sipping tea while doing some reading. I observed every nook and cranny of the site which had opened its doors a few months before. I was thinking of the poetry evenings during which I have performed since 2011 = and I felt that I was missing a challenge.

If you want to understand what i went through: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ga8euWETrLM

I still felt the stress of the stage, the immense anxiety that had upset me a few hours before. I thought of everything I had experienced as bullying that had left its mark again, all those punches, insults and meanness in the middle of the classroom, on the bus or in the hallways, all of this past that kept me awake for a while. ten years of taking public transport, not socializing properly, being in a group ... All those years that finally brought me to a source of light, with this fight on stage that I was making progress. And at that same moment at Café Bloom, I had the vision of an upcoming challenge, PSALM, with a name that may sound religious, but which is not in the circumstances of my event. PSALM, synonymous for me with delicacy and words. At the time of this vision, I was walking towards my home, my body shaking because I had just confirmed the date of my first event. Found in my bed lying down, I inhaled, exhaled, the tears falling plunged in the fear of having to relive the moments of terror. Anxiety irrational but still present.

Three events later, I couldn't be more proud and happy about this fight, which only led to congratulations, praise and positive comments. Time has passed terribly fast since then, and the success is greater than I imagined. I feel tremors but this time of joy. The only thing I can tell you; GO FORWARD. Go straight to the goal you give yourself, the feeling is so wonderful when you reach the end of your dreams. And yes, there are relapses, but it's normal, it's part of life. If you think going on stage is too stressful, tell yourself that you are reading the text of an agoraphobic girl with social phobia and generalized anxiety. If I can, you can. Peace and light